| Random Page! |
| Two
sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In
order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette
balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to
another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'" The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde, she'll read it very slow."
|
||
|
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order
to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for
ransom.
|
||
|
Reaching the end
of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer
fresh out of Texas A&M, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years -- say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it." |
||
| Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With
expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk
quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it
out.
|
||
|
Two confirmed
bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to
cooking.
"I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish."
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
"People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, "one says, "but we have no one to go to with our own problems." "Since we're all professionals," another suggests, "why don't we hear each other out right now?" They agreed this is a good idea. The first psychiatrist confesses, "I'm a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I usually over bill my patients as often as I can." The second admits, "I have a drug problem that's out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me." The third psychiatrist says, "I know it's wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep a secret." |
||
 |
||
 |